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    • 10 defining moments of the Sochi Olympics
      It promises to be another memorable occasion — but will it beat Winters Games gone past? The 17-day sporting extravaganza is being dubbed as the most expensive Olympics ever, with the Russians having spent $50 billion on turning the faded Black Sea resort into a rejuvenated host venue. Thousands of athletes from over 80 different […]
    • New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie
      With former Port Authority official David Wildstein’s new claim that  “evidence exists” showing Christie knew about the politically motivated lane closings on the George Washington Bridge back in September, several Jersey State politicians are already floating the dreaded “I” word: impeachment. It wasn’t so long ago that New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie was a popular Republican […]
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    • Miliband targets zero-hours contracts April 1, 2015
      Labour will end the "epidemic" of zero-hours contracts that are "undermining family life", Ed Miliband insists.
    • Kingfisher sinks as FTSE ends higher April 1, 2015
      The benchmark FTSE 100 index closes up 0.5% on Wednesday, boosted by gains for Imperial Tobacco and Barclays.
    • Bosses' letter fuels business battle April 1, 2015
      The Conservatives welcome an "unprecedented" endorsement by 100 business leaders - as Labour pledges to tackle the "epidemic" of zero-hours contracts.
    • Wives fill Indian boardroom quotas April 1, 2015
      Some of India's richest businessmen have appointed their wives as company directors to comply with a new law.
    • Google reveals computer-on-a-stick April 1, 2015
      Google announces that a range of computer-on-a-sticks and laptops costing as low as $149 (£101) are joining its range of Chrome OS devices.
    • Weak UK productivity 'unprecedented' April 1, 2015
      The productivity of the UK workforce remains slightly lower than in 2007, marking an "unprecedented absence" of growth in the post-war era, official figures show.
    • 'Temporary' bank cash to be protected April 1, 2015
      People who have large amounts of money in their bank accounts "temporarily" will be soon protected in the event of their bank going bust, the Bank of England says.
    • EU milk quota system is abolished April 1, 2015
      EU milk quotas are scrapped, bringing an end to more than 30 years of efforts to prevent overproduction.
    • Euro weakness helps manufacturers April 1, 2015
      Manufacturing and jobs are picking up in the eurozone thanks to the weaker euro, according to a closely-watched survey.
    • Asos upbeat despite 10% profit fall April 1, 2015
      Online fashion retailer Asos reports a 10% fall in half-year profits, but says it is confident of hitting its full-year profit target.

Five Surgeons

Five surgeons from Indiana are having drinks at a conference:

The first, a Terre Haute surgeon says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”

The second, a surgeon from Gary responds, “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.”

The third, a Bloomington surgeon says, “No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

The fourth, a Ft. Wayne Surgeon chimes in: “you know, I like construction workers…those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.”

But the fifth, an Indianapolis surgeon, shut them all up when he observed: “You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable.”