Category: VP Cheney

Cheney Calls The Shots On Foreign Affairs

According to a senior intelligence officer, VP Dick Cheney and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice have decided to sanction military action against Iran, abandoning the diplomatic option. They have resolved that President George W. Bush will not leave office with the Iranian nuclear question unsettled. And it will be settled with force.

Although nobody outside of Bush’s inner circle is truly sure of their plan, it is believed that Cheney favors a gradual escalation of hostilities to be followed by massive air strikes using tactical nuclear weapons.

Their only problem may be getting Congress to go along with the plan. Even if they don’t, expect it to be set in motion unless funding is completely cut off.

“Cheney Fatigue”

dick2.jpgFrom the Boston Herald

Republicans suffering from any of these symptoms should consider seeking medical attention:

-You find yourself saying more frequently, “Dan Quayle, now there was one heck of a vice-president!”

-You support Second Amendment rights, but do not have the slightest interest in shooting your hunting partner.

-Just once, you would love to hear Dick Cheney say, “It is classified information, but I’ll shout it to the world: My ATM pin code is Q-U-I-N-T-U-P-L-E-B-Y-P-A-S-S!”

-You hope the next time America recklessly enters into war using faulty intelligence, it will be completely President Bush’s idea.

-You are having second thoughts about awarding Halliburton a no-bid contract to remodel your bathroom.

-You are starting to question the logic that Dick Cheney is not part of the executive branch because he belongs to Sam’s Club.

-You are getting tired of receiving holiday cards from an undisclosed location.

-You question whether being confined indefinately in Guantanamo prison is excessive punishment for failing to yield at a rotary.

-You are not willing to pay Scooter Libby to mow your lawn until his presidential pardon comes through.

-The FBI agent tapping your phone without a warrant keeps changing your order from mushroom to pepperoni pizza.

-You feel it would be improper for Dick Cheney to testify before a congressional oversight committee but would not mind seeing him raked over the coals by Judge Maria Lopez.

Chris Rock: State Of The World

crock.jpg“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is a Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon.”

Bush Puts Cheney Above The Law

The Great Decider is back at work, this time in defense of Dick Cheney and his contention that the Vice President’s office is not part of the executive branch of government. If this were true, Cheney would not be obligated to submit to the Archives’ Information Security Oversight Office, and would thus be virtually a second president. An executive order requires all members of the executive branch to comply.

Cheney has refused to comply with the Oversight Office since 2003.

“This is a little bit of a nonissue,” (White House spokeswoman Dana) Perino said at a briefing dominated by the issue. Cheney Is not subject to the executive order, she said, “because the president gets to decide whether or not he should be treated separately, and he’s decided that he should.”

So now the White House is deciding who must obey the law?

My Step-President Is An Alien

theborg.jpgVP Dick Cheney will have to undergo another heart operation, this time to replace his pacemaker which is in need of a new battery. The surgery will take place sometime this summer.

Cheney, 66, has already suffered four heart attacks, required quadruple bypass surgery, two angioplasties, aneurysm surgery on his legs, and the original pacemaker implantation operation.

How long can it be until the administration admits that its number 2 man is actually a member of The Borg?

Will Al-Qaida Eat Our Children, Rip Out Our Hearts?

Sounding a menacing alarm yesterday during his commencement speech to graduates at the US Military Academy, Vice President Dick Cheney made al-Qaida out to be the Mike Tyson of terrorist organizations.

“Al-Qaida’s leadership has said they have the right to kill 4 million Americans, 2 million of them children, and to exile twice as many and to wound and cripple thousands.

“America is fighting this enemy in Iraq.”

Just the day before, President Bush had warned reporters that the terrorist organization was a danger to their children.

What gives here? Has the al-Qaida leadership suddenly developed a plan to suck the lifeblood out of our country by murdering our kids? Has the Bush administration discovered previously unknown intelligence of this particularly horrific scheme? Or is Dick just raving about the worst scenery he can imagine? One calculated to strike fear into the hearts and minds of those who might waffle on the war?

When do the terrorists begin to feed us our own hearts?

Pentagon Wants To Sell Advanced Weapons To Israel

US Defense Department officials are asking Congress to authorize the sale of 3,000 smart bombs to Israel. The Jewish state also plans to ask the American military for 5th-generation stealth F-22 fighter jets.

A Pentagon spokesperson said Friday that it was in the US’s interests to help strengthen Israel’s defenses, and that the sale was in line with the US policy of working to achieve peace in the Middle East, help Israel reach an agreement with its neighbors, and “anchor the stability of the entire region.”

I fail to see how strengthening the greatest power in a volatile region helps to anchor stability or achieve peace. It is somewhat like giving your buddy an AK-47 to protect himself against the neighbor he suspects of having an illegal handgun.

Israel has recently protested against US plans to sell these same bombs to Saudi Arabia.

The entire scheme sounds like nothing more than a plan to maintain the status quo, while using Israel as a pawn with which to pressure Iran and Syria.

There will never be peace in the Middle East so long as Bush and Cheney have their warmongering, moneymaking iron in the fire.

Gates And Rice Pushed For Gitmo Closing

Defense Secretary Robert Gates and Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice urged that Guantanamo Bay prison be closed shortly after Gates’ appointment in December. Gates argued that terror suspects should be tried on US soil in order to lend credibility to the proceedings.

Vice President Dick Cheney and Attorney General Alberto Gonzales opposed closing the infamous prison, on the grounds that those suspected of terrorism should not have the same rights afforded traditional prisoners, but should instead be regarded as prisoners of war subject to military justice.

The argument was ended when President Bush sided with Cheney and Gonzales.

Due to the recent controversy over Gonzales’ possible dismissal, some officials believe that the issue could be reopened if such a circumstance were to occur.

The US has so far brought charges against only one of 385 foreign captives at Guantanamo.

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